My Top Ten Red Dwarf Episodes

As Red Dwarf X starts tomorrow night I thought it would be a good time to write about some of my favourite episodes of the show. I've been a fan of Red Dwarf since I was 8 years old. My love of the show started when Red Dwarf VI first aired. I remember seeing the advert and being desperate to watch it but it went out after my bedtime. Luckily having a TV in my room meant me and my brother were able to see it (with the volume on low) and we instantly fell in love with this band of wacky characters (my dad did find out we were staying up late to watch it and we got in a spot of bother but it was well worth it). Even though there are only 55 episodes (at present) it's incredibly hard to pick just ten. Just about every episode is a classic (I don't rate series 7, 8 and Back To Earth particularly highly but they're still worth watching).  As ever this is just my opinion...

10. Tikka to Ride

I always felt that Rob Grant & Doug Naylor were the perfect writing team. Each of them brought something different to the team and that's what made the first six series of Red Dwarf so good. This is perhaps most evident in the novels the pair wrote. The first two, written together, were quite brilliant where as the second two, one written by each of them, both lacked something. For me I felt Rob Grant was better at the jokes and Doug Naylor was better at the stories. The lack of quality jokes is part of the reason this is the only episode that wasn't co-written by Grant that made my list. I was in my first year of high school when Red Dwarf VII started and the internet wasn't as widely available then so I didn't really realise how disliked series seven was among a lot of fans. These days it's easy enough to watch all the episodes and series seven is not one I enjoy as much as the earlier series but I've always had a soft spot for this episode. Yes it ignores the rules for the Time Drive set up in the previous series and JFK manages to kill his past self without any trouble when the future selves of the boys from the Dwarf had no such luck but it's an enjoyable time travelling yarn.

9. Meltdown

Apparently this episode from the fourth series isn't very popular with fans but I've always loved it. When the crew end up on a planet populated by wax droids of famous historical figures they end up in the middle of a war. Rimmer ends up taking charge of one side and in the end, just like in real life, there are no winners in war. This episode is worth inclusion for Lister's commentary on the execution of Winnie the Pooh.

8. Polymorph

Series three saw a lot of changes and they all helped make the show even better. The crew meet a genetically engineered shape shifting mutant that feeds on negative emotions. Between them the Dwarfers lose their vanity, guilt, anger and fear. The highlight of this episode is of course Lister's shrinking boxer shorts.

7. Marooned

After being forced to abandon Red Dwarf Rimmer and Lister are marooned on an ice planet after Starbug is struck by a meteorite. The Lister/Rimmer relationship has always been the backbone of Red Dwarf and giving the pair a whole episode where they have little to do but talk to each other is a stroke of genius. Both Chris Barrie and Craig Charles are fantastic in this episode.

6. Quarantine

After investigating a research facility Lister, Cat and Kryten return to Red Dwarf to find Rimmer has taken over the ship and has put them into quarantine. It's not long before they realise that Rimmer has been infected with a holovirus and has gained some impressive new powers and a glove puppet named Mr. Flibble. Christ Barrie is excellent as the deranged gingham dress wearing psychotic Rimmer.

5. Dimension Jump

Another Rimmer centric episode. We discover that how Rimmer's life turned out all depended on one decision made when he was a child. We then see what would have happened to him if things had gone differently when we meet dimension hopping pilot Ace Rimmer. This episode is a brilliant character study and Chris Barrie is excellent.

4. Justice

Another episode that doesn't top fan polls but is one of my very favourite episodes. The crew have picked up an escape pod that either contains a woman or a psychotic simulant. They decide to open the escape pod in Justice World a high tech prison. Unfortunately upon arrival the crew are scanned for crimes they may have committed and Rimmer is accused of murdering the crew of Red Dwarf. There are a lot of laughs in this episode with Kryten forced to defend Rimmer from his own ego and Danny John-Jules gets to steal the show with his hilarious performance.

3. Me²

The first two series of Red Dwarf aren't bad they're just very different to everything that followed. Perhaps I should have found room for more episodes from those early runs but for me there is only one episode really stands out. Rimmer is my favourite character and Me² gives us double the Rimmer pleasure. This is the strongest episode of the first series in my book and Chris Barrie plays off himself very well.

2. Gunmen of the Apocalypse

Yes I've gone for the easy options for my top two and with good reason. Gunmen of the Apocalypse is a fantastic episode with plenty of laughs. Who doesn't love a sci-fi/western cross over? With Starbug on a direct course with a sun and a virus locking out the console Kryten attempts to battle the virus in his digital mind. This battle takes place in a wild west themed dream.

1. Back To Reality

Often voted the best episode by fans the fifth series finale is practically perfect. After investigating a wrecked ship the crew are chased by a despair squid. Then suddenly the crew wakes up and find out they aren't who they think they are. They aren't the crew of Red Dwarf but rather players in a total immersion video game called Red Dwarf. And they were playing it badly. Craig Charles is especially good in this episode and we get to meet the legendary Duane Dibbley.

Rambo

Directed by Sylvester Stallone

Written by Sylvester Stallone

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Matthew Marsden, Graham McTavish, Reynaldo Gallegos, Jake La Botz, Tim Kang, Paul Schulze & Maung Maung Khin

Warning: Contains spoilers for the Rambo series

"Live for nothing, or die for something," John Rambo

It took twenty years but John Rambo returned to the big screen for a fourth time in 2008 and it's even bloodier than last time.

What's it about?:

Twenty years have passed since John Rambo sorted out the mess in Afghanistan and now he's living the quiet life in Thailand working as a boatman. He is approached by missionary Michael Burnett who asks Rambo to help get his party into Burma on a humanitarian mission. He refuses to help them believing that their attempts will be futile but he is later persuaded by Michael's fellow missionary Sarah Miller to take them. The trip doesn't go well and when Rambo is forced to take down some pirates Rambo style Michael isn't impressed and tells him they won't need his help getting home. How wrong he is.

The humanitarian mission doesn't go well. People are slaughtered and most of the missionaries are taken hostage by the villainous Major Tint. After they fail to return their pastor asks Rambo to guide a group of mercenaries to where he left them.  As the mercenaries look on as a village of people is forced to take part in a cruel game that involves them running across a mine field Rambo reveals himself to be more than a simple boatman as he takes out all the soldiers single handed. With Rambo finally unleashed it's time for Burma to bleed as he pretty much takes on the whole country and kills the lot of them in one bloody crusade you won't forget.

The Verdict:

It's a return to form for the series and this is the strongest installment of the series since the original First Blood. This time around it isn't personal. Rambo has little at stake here and perhaps that detracts from the value of the story a bit but Rambo is a much grittier character this time around. This is a tale of a man that has tried to suppress his true nature only to fully embrace what he's really good at and then kill a heck of a lot of nasties. The body count is higher than ever and this is not a film for the fainthearted. There's blood and guts flying everywhere and Stallone pulls no punches as he slaughters Burma's evil army. The supporting cast are all great but this is very much Stallone's show. After a few bad years Rambo was Sly's second successful franchise return after Rocky Balboa and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say it's good to have the big man back where he belongs.

Stallone in the Spot Light: 

Stallone is excellent in this film. He plays the haunted, aging Rambo so well. He almost matches his performance from the first film in the series and the performance doesn't falter even when he's gunning down half of Burma. It's great to see Stallone back at what he does best and he makes us really care for John Rambo.

Rambo III

Directed by Peter MacDonald

Screenplay by Sylvester Stallone & Sheldon Lettich

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Marc de Jonge, Kurtwood Smith, Sasson Gabai & Spiros Focas

Warning: The following contains spoilers for the Rambo series

"God would have mercy. He won't," Colonel Trautman

After drawing first blood twice Rambo is back again and this time it's personal...er in 1988's Rambo III.

What's it about?:

John Rambo's enjoying a quiet life in Thailand participating in stick fighting and building Buddhist monasteries. But war never dies and his old friend Colonel Sam Trautman tracks him down to ask him to help to supply weapons to Afghan rebels. Rambo isn't interested his soldier days are behind him and he turns down the Colonel's request. Unfortunately the mission is a failure and Trautman is captured by the villainous Soviets and the American government have no intention of doing anything to help him. So it's down to Rambo to save his former commanding officer. The action then moves to Afghanistan where Rambo starts blowing shit up and killing as many people as he possibly can.

The Verdict:

In my opinion Rambo III is the weakest entry of the series. More of the same this time around. It's all about the killing and it's more of a meat head action movie than the original First Blood ever was. There's not much you can say about Rambo III. The body count is high and the emotional impact is low. The action set pieces are as good as ever and there's lots of gory moments. Watching Rambo cauterizing his own wound after his first failed attempt at rescuing the colonel requires a strong stomach. The last part of the film is a highly enjoyable action sequence as Rambo and the colonel, with a little help from the Afghan rebels, take on the last of the villainous Soviets. Overall it's a largely mindless but enjoyable adventure. And best of all I now get a lot more jokes from Hot Shots! Part Deux.

Stallone in the Spot Light:

Sly really doesn't have much to work with this time out. He's got little more to do than shoot and stab the entire Soviet Union but he does it as well as you'd expect. We don't get to see much of his acting range but we get to see him being all bad ass action hero which is enjoyable enough. It's not an Oscar worthy performance but it's still far better than anything Daniel Radcliffe has ever managed. Stallone also works well with his co star the late Richard Crenna in his final appearance as Colonel Trautman and their friendship does add an extra level to Rambo's character after two films of him working alone.

Rambo: First Blood Part II

Directed by George P. Cosmatos

Screenplay by Sylvester Stallone & James Cameron

Story by Kevin Jarre

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Charles Napier, Steven Berkoff Julia Nickson and Julian Turner

Warning: This review contains spoilers for Rambo: First Blood Part II and First Blood

"Sir, do we get to win this time?" John Rambo

After deciding to drop the original ending to First Blood, in which Rambo is killed, a sequel was perhaps inevitable. So now it's time for First Blood Part II!

What's it about?:

Picking up where the first film left off Rambo: First Blood Part II finds our hero doing hard labour as punishment for his crimes. Luckily for Rambo his former commander Colonel Sam Trautman hasn't forgotten about him and offers him a way out of prison in exchange for carrying out one more mission. They need Rambo to go back to Vietnam and track damn some American P.O.W.s. Rambo is told by Marshal Murdock, the man in charge of the operation, that he is required to take pictures as proof that these P.O.W.s are actually there and that he must not attempt to rescue them. 

After parachuting into Vietnam and losing most of his equipment in the process Rambo joins forces with American agent and local woman Co-Bao to search for the American P.O.W.s. Once they find them all hell breaks loose and shit gets blown up again but it's even more hardcore than in the previous film with a much higher body count.

The Verdict:

The DVD of First Blood features an interview with Sylvester Stallone in which he describes the second film as more of a fantasy. That pretty much sums up the whole film. Where as the first film was largely grounded in reality First Blood Part II  is all action and over the top insanity. Perhaps America would have won the war in Vietnam if they'd been able to send John Rambo in alone with his trusty knife. First Blood Part II isn't a bad movie it just isn't in the same league as the original. But if you want to watch evil bastards get what's coming to them then it's the perfect movie for you. After only killing one person (accidentally) first time round Rambo isn't so restrained and he seems to take out half of Vietnam and the Russian army in a variety of gory ways. It's an enjoyable enough but never really reaches the quality of the original and lacks the emotional punch.

Stallone in the Spot Light:

Stallone is as watchable as ever but he's not really challenged as much this time. Rambo is not quite as well rounded this time out but Stallone brings enough to the role that you'll be rooting for him as he stabs, shoots and punches his way through Vietnam. Stallone is best known as an action movie star and that's what he excels at here. There's less room for emotion here but they manage to shoe horn in a couple of moments to let Sly flex his acting chops which he does fairly well. And they even fit in an impassioned rant about soldiers wanting their country to love them as much as they love it.

First Blood

Directed by Ted Kotcheff

Screenplay by Michael Kozoll, William Sackheim and Sylvester Stallone

Based on the novel First Blood by David Morrell

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna and Brian Dennehy

Warning: The Following Contains Spoilers for First Blood

"They drew first blood, not me," John Rambo

And so The Sylvester Stallone Project begins with the first appearance of one of his most iconic characters, John Rambo, in 1982's First Blood.

What's it about?:

John Rambo, a former member of an elite United States Army Special Forces unit, is searching for a a friend from his old unit. Discovering that his former comrade had died of cancer, due to exposure to Agent Orange,  the previous year Rambo heads on into the small town of Hope, Washington. Rambo attracts the attention of the over protective town sheriff Will Teasle who believes Rambo to be a drifter and drives him out of town. Rambo refuses to be treated like a criminal and heads straight back into Hope only to be arrested by Teasle. 

Whilst in custody Rambo is treated poorly by the sheriff's deputies with their cruel and unpleasant treatment of the war veteran lead to him having flashbacks to the horror of the Vietnam war. Rambo manages to over power the deputies and escapes to the mountains leading to a cat and mouse chase between him and Teasle. Rambo is too much for the local sheriff to handle and the National Guard are called into help with the manhunt. Rambo's superior officer Colonel Sam Trautman arrives at the scene to warn Teasle that he's picked the wrong man to mess with. Then lot's of shit gets blown up as everyone tries to stop the one man army that is John Rambo.

The Verdict:

First Blood is easily the strongest installment in the Rambo series and one of Stallone's finest films to date. The series may be well known for it's extreme violence but there's little of that here. The body count is insanely low when compared to the sequels that follow it. There's one death. That's right just one and it's one of the more unpleasant character's that very much deserves the fate that befalls him. The real enjoyment of First Blood is seeing Rambo using his survival skills to survive and outwit his foes. The story is fairly deep for a Stallone vehicle and one I can imagine getting the remake treatment. Who honestly can't see Hollywood planning a First Blood remake with a disillusioned Iraq veteran?

Stallone in the Spot Light:

Stallone is excellent in John Rambo. I don't care what anyone says Sylvester Stallone is a very good actor and he portrays the Vietnam War Veteran that can't readjust to life back in America perfectly. His break down at the end where Trautman arrives just in time to stop him murdering Teasle is perfectly acted by both of them. Allowing Rambo's story to be told by those around him makes the film work well and means we see a lot less of Rambo than you'd expect but Stallone steals every scene he's in. Overall this film must be in his top five performances ever.

The Sylvester Stallone Project

In my opinion Sylvester Stallone is one of the most underrated actors of all time. I know a lot of people will laugh in my face at such a statement but the man is a far better actor than people give him credit for. Which is why I'm starting the Sylvester Stallone Project. I'm going to back up my statement by watching and providing commentary on the bulk of the Italian Stallion's films. Sure there will be highs, like Rocky and First Blood, and there will be lows, like Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot and Rocky V, but my god it'll be worth it. It's time Mr. Stallone was appreciated for the true legend he is. I'll be kicking off this Sunday by watching all four Rambo films back to back.

Here's the complete list of films I'll be watching in the coming months.

Death Race 2000

Rocky

F.I.S.T.

Paradise Alley

Rocky II

Nighthawks

Escape To Victory

First Blood

Rhinestone

Rambo: First Blood II

Rocky IV

Cobra

Over the Top

Rambo III

Lock Up

Tango & Cash

Rocky V

Oscar

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot

Cliffhanger

Demolition Man

The Specialist

Judge Dredd

Assassins

Daylight

Cop Land

Antz

D-Tox/Eye See You

Get Carter

Driven

Avenging Angelo

Spy Kids 3

Shade

Rocky Balboa

Rambo

The Expendables

The Expendables 2

My Top 10 Batman: The Animated Series Episodes

It may make you feel incredibly old to read this but on this day twenty years ago Batman: The Animated Series first aired on American TV. Gotham's Dark Knight has been animated many, many times and Batman: The Animated Series has never been bettered in this writer's humble opinion. There aren't many shows like Batman: TAS. Over 85 episodes and a handful of feature length adventures we were given one of the most rewarding incarnations of Batman. Even twenty years on this show can be enjoyed by both children and adults.

Perfect is a word that is too easy to toss around but Batman: The Animated Series was almost perfect. Probably as close to perfection a cartoon about a man dressed as a bat could ever get. The episodes were mature, the characters were realistic and the voice actors are now the stuff of legend. Mark Hamill's performances as The Joker make you doubt whether it's the same Mark Hamill that played lovable farm boy Luke Skywalker. And in my book Kevin Conroy is the greatest actor to ever have portrayed the Dark Knight. There's no one that puts a foot wrong on this series and if you haven't seen it it's time you did. The box sets are readily available on sites like Amazon. Last time I checked the UK Amazon you could pick up the first 28 episodes for less than a fiver.

To celebrate the show's birthday I've compiled a list of ten of my favourite episodes of Batman: The Animated Series (and the New Batman Adventures)  in no particular order. It's nearly impossible to pick just ten and every single episode is well worth checking out. This is by no means a definitive list of the "best" episodes of the series. These are just the ones I enjoyed the most and that have stayed with me. I'll give a brief explanation on why I enjoy each episode and I'll try and avoid giving too much away so those who have yet to see these awesome episodes can enjoy them for what they really are.

10) Perchance To Dream

Bruce Wayne wakes up to discover his parents are alive and he isn't the Batman. It's all a dream of course but the most interesting aspect of the episode is how desperate Bruce is to prove it is. True to the character Bruce is unable to enjoy this fantasy that has taken away his reasons for becoming the Batman. Watching this episode then remembering that this is actually a show targeted at children is rather mind blowing.

9) Joker's Millions

A mob boss dies and leaves a fortune to The Joker but is it all as good as it seems? This episode is hilarious and the revelation at the end is the icing on the cake.

8) Trial

Batman is put on trial by the inmates of Arkham Asylum. 'Nuff said.

7) Robin's Reckoning

This two parter covers the origins of Batman's young sidekick and his quest for revenge against the murderer of his parents. I am a Robin fan (though not in his big screen outings) and I think Batman: TAS made excellent use of the character. Rather than shoe horn him into every episode they only used him when the story needed him. These episodes should provide the ground work for any future appearance of the boy wonder.

6) Mad Love

Harley Quinn was one of the greatest things to come out of Batman's animated universe. Originally created for the series she is now a major part of the Batman universe. If you got an episode with Harley in you knew you were in for a treat. This episode shows us how Harley got involved with her beloved Mr. J and features some rather saucy material you'd struggle to get in a kid's show these days.

5) Showdown

There's not a whole lot of Batman in this episode but it's still a great episode. This was my first introduction to the disfigured cowboy Jonah Hex and also sees the return of the legendary David Warner as Ra's Al Ghul with an adventure set in the old west.

4) Almost Got 'Im

A selection of Batman's rogues gallery play cards whilst discussing how close they came to taking down the Dark Knight. This episode is a lot of fun and features several of the major villains and has a nice twist at the end. Can't ask for much more.

3) Legends of the Dark Knight

A group of kids tell tales of the Batman and the writers take a pop at Joel Schumacher. This episode features nods to Dick Sprang and Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns and features one of the darkest lines muttered in the history of kid's TV.

2) Over The Edge

Over The Edge is one of the darkest episodes in what is a very dark show. Batgirl has been killed by the Scarecrow, Commissioner Gordon knows Batman's identity and holds him personally responsible for his daughter's death and the entire Bat family is falling apart. Even though you suspect none of this can actually be happening it's still an incredibly shocking episode.

1) Heart of Ice

I vaguely recall Mr. Freeze from the old Adam West TV show and he was hardly an A List villain. Batman: TAS redefined the character and turned him into something quite special. Mr. Freeze appeared several times throughout the series but none were quite as good as Heart of Ice. Mr. Freeze is a tortured soul who had dedicated his life to finding a cure for his terminally ill wife only to be stopped by villainous business man Ferris Boyle (voiced by Mark Hamill). This is a story with real heart and is rather an incredible episode of an incredible show.

Now go and watch every episode of Batman: The Animated Series you can get your hands on!